As usual, at Thanksgiving time I start reflecting on, not only being thankful, which is the first part of the thanksgiving equation, but I start to contemplate the giving aspect. This happens as I see the many volunteers every holiday season collecting money for charities. I admire them, I really do but they also tend to make me a bit uncomfortable, because they are a reminder to me that there is more that I could be doing. And I start to question myself.
Why haven’t I ever gone down and volunteered at a soup kitchen? Why don’t I stand and ring the bell for the Salvation Army? And what about just getting out and taking care of some of the elderly people in my neighborhood; rake some leaves and if needed shovel some snow? Or even the standard way of giving where you just give money to support a favorite organization. These are ways in which I would like to give. And I always have good intentions; I always plan to do better; I always want to give, but this is where I fall short every time. However this year, I have really given my past behavior some thought. And in doing so I have determined that all of my reasons for not giving in the past have turned out to be myths. They were thinking patterns which I had adopted over the years to justify my not getting out and doing what I know I should be doing. So here I am this year, ready to come clean and do some “myth busting” about my reasons for not giving. Below are the 5 myths which I find keeping me from “giving”. Perhaps you have some similar myths which need busting.1. Myth of having no time: Do I really have no time?
I have often asked myself why I do not get more involved with things in the community in which I live and I always come up with the same reason. I do not have time. After working 12 hour days 5 days a week (and sometimes weekends as well), coming home to the family responsibilities, and then finally finding time late in the evening to write and do the things that I love, there is simply no time left for doing the things which I know I could be doing for others. But then why are we all so busy these days? It seems like we are always in a hurry to get to a destination which is forever getting further away. How many times a day do we find ourselves saying "If I had more time I would.....?" But the truth of the matter is that we will never have more time. We have the same 24 hours every day of the year. There is no way for us to get more time but there is a way for us to do more in the time that we have. Actually, it really comes down to a mater of priorities. Is this important enough for me to commit to it? I am committed to my writing and I manage to find time for it. Perhaps I need to be honest with myself about what is important to me. Is it important to me that the old lady across the street has her grass cut? Do I care that that half the kids which I see getting on the bus have no gloves on? Couldn’t I donate time and money to handing out some Dollar General gloves after school and before school? What are the things that matter to me? These are the things that I will be able to find the time to commit to; these things are those I feel are important enough to make it a priority to find the time to do more of.2. Myth that someone else will do it: Am I really needed?
This year when I went into the polling booth to vote for in our presidential election, I saw all of the volunteers helping to hand out ballots and insure that everything was done decently and fairly. I went in early in the morning and saw the workers which were there. Later in the day I went back to show my daughter were the polling place was for our family (she was voting for the first time) . Well, I was surprised to see that some of the same women, which had been there in the morning, were still working in the evening. At the time I thought, what dedication, what loyalty. But now that I think about it
I realize that these women may have had to work double because someone did not show up. So now I am thinking, what if no one had showed up? Who would have ensured a proper election in my neighborhood? How often do we take for granted that someone else will do something? I remember once when I went to check my grandchild into the nursery at my church and was told that the nursery was closed because the worker who was scheduled did not show up. All of these people are volunteers and they are there to do a service for us, but they don’t have to. With this in mind I am resigned to an understanding that some things which need to be done are not being done because we are all expecting someone else to take care of it. This year, I will behave as if I am a vital part, that if I am not there something will not get done. I will no longer assume that others have it taken care of. Sure, there may be times when I really could have stayed home, that someone else did have it under control, but those will be the times when I just stay and hang out with good friends who have the same interest as I do. I will be blessed for just taking part…3. Myth that the job is too big: Does my contribution really matter?
Sometimes when I am up late at night I stumble across the fund raisers for the organizations which advertise for donations to feed the children in third world countries that are starving and hungry. And I must admit that I have often thought to myself that these programs have been coming on for as long as I can remember so I question if they are even effective.
I am thinking that the problem is so great that even if I were to sign up to help will the problem ever go away? Will we ever feed every child in Africa? But today I think to myself, “What if one of those children in the commercial was mine? What if I was gone and someone was asking for help for one of my own grandchildren? Would all of those watching simply pass him by because they feel the small amount that they can cast into the vast ocean of the needy is too insignificant? Can we feed every child that is hungry? Even though my answer would have been no in the past, my answer to today will be, yes we can, one child at a time. I believe that my old way of thinking is the result of seeing too big of a picture. When I am focusing on all of the starving children in the world I tend to treat the problem in an impersonal way and I am able to rationalize my way out of the commitment to give. But this season I will change my focus to the one small child that catches my immediate attention; this way I get a more personal view and ultimately I am able to see the benefits to helping, one small mouth at a time.4. Myth that your help will be abused: Do they even get the money?
Sometimes when I come out of the Wal-Mart or the grocery store I see someone collecting money for one cause or another. And most of the time if it is not an
organization which I am familiar with, I do not give because I think “What if they are just running a scam of some kind? I start to wonder does the money even go to anyone at all. The same thought crosses my mind when I pass by someone who is holding up a sign saying “will work for food.” I think about the amount of time that people like this put into standing outside begging for money, and I think that this is just like a job in itself so why couldn’t they put the same energy into having a real job? Or I find myself thinking the person is not really going to use the money for food as the sign that they are holding suggest. But as I write this I am thinking of the real reason that I want to give to people. I do not want to give to people simply to get them to their next meal or to solve their problems. I want to give to people so that they will be able to see that someone loves them, that someone is willing to make an investment into them as a person. My ultimate goal for giving is to share the Love of God with my fellow humans. Will some abuse my efforts? I am sure that they will but if I hit upon only one even who has a genuine life change as the result of my loving effort, then it will all have been worth while.5. Myth that you do not have enough money: I am too poor myself?
I am not rich. I do not think that I would be categorized as poor either but I certainly could use some more money. So when someone is calling me on the phone
and asking that I give $25 to help a family who will not have thanksgiving dinner if it were not for my giving, I sometimes think to myself, “Ok, but then can you point me in the direction of the agency who will help me when I can’t pay my mortgage?” Even as I think this I know it is an exaggeration, but I can’t help it; sometimes I just want to ask that someone would have some pity on me. However, though I have these thoughts, this is not what I know to be true. I know that those who give are those who are blessed in return. I have experienced it. I have often given to someone unexpectedly (maybe standing in the grocery line) only to have something unexpected happen to me later (a bonus at work). I know, and was taught even as a child, that if you give it will be given back to you in extraordinary ways. But life has a way of making cynics of us all. We start to believe the news reports that we are all just one step away from the next welfare line and we tend to tighten up our purse strings in order to preserve what little we perceive ourselves to have. This holiday season, I intend to squelch the “I don’t have money to give” myth and remember that money is a tool to be used much as a farmer would plant seed. It needs to be planted into the life of others so that the harvest of it can come up in our own lives.
